Of Silence and Childhood Memories
by MeganEatsSocks
Summary: If Red didn't think things over enough before, he probably would never be able to. Rated T for cursing, I guess?


A/N: HELLO. I shall now spam all you fools with this cheesy shit. So, I was replaying Fire Red awhile ago and I suddenly realized something: Green's kind of an ass. Those thoughts, along with some memories of my pokefilled childhood, brought this on. _This definitely should have not have taken as long as it did, christ on a bike._

Disclaimer: I, sadly, do not own Pokemon or any boy bands of the sort. If I did, I would have much more than $20 in my pocket.

0o0o0

They lied together silently aside from Green's soft breathing as he slept. Red watched him, counting his beloved's breaths and waiting for him to wake. The former Champion preferred this time of day as he was so used to the early morning start atop Mr. Silver, as well as the fact he was able to ponder freely to himself without Green butting in and interrupting his thoughts. 349, 350, 351...

That morning, Red's mind wandered away from the original subject of how many apricorns could fit in a raticate's mouth to something he often never questioned: Green's attitude. Short tempered, rude, selfish, and incredibly arrogant. It began to make Red wonder how he ever even _began _to be friends with the brunet, let alone come to love him. 423, 424, 425...

He remembered the two as young children growing up in Pallet Town; just some small boys with big dreams. They'd always been friends and rivals with constant tension between them and they always knew and accepted that. They always challenged each other in one way or another like no one else could. No one could possibly _dream _to keep up with them.

Green, the famous Professor Oak's prideful grandson.

Red, the seemingly bland boy with enough willpower to spare.

They were opposites, just like their names on a color wheel.

Red stopped counting. His brain was beginning to make sense out of this. They really were opposites. Red was quiet and cunning, cold as ice, not as forceful as he was swift. Green was fiery; he could continue ranting, fighting for hours and wouldn't let anything go until there was nothing left but ash. Their battles together said it all. But more than that, Green was hostile. Even as kids, before they had started on their Pokemon journeys, the brunet would always be first to poke fun and relentlessly bully the other.

The body next to him shifted, disrupting his thought process. Green's eyes blinked a few times before he smiled gently at his boyfriend.

"Morning, sunshine," he mumbled sleepily towards Red's distant expression. It almost looked a little aggravated. "Somethin' wrong?" Before the black haired teen could open his mouth, Eevee leaped in between them, Pikachu following close behind, both mewling to be fed. The Gym Leader groaned lightly before tiredly crawling out from under the sheets. A few minutes later, Red got up and joined the trio after shaking his head as if to rid himself of those persisting thoughts.

0o0o0

Eevee positively purred as Green ran his fingers along her soft fur whilst she ate, wagging her plush tail happily. "So Red," he started, looking up at the other teen who was nibbling on a bagel. "Any plans today? I heard some new trainers may be coming in so I have to open up the Gym sometime soon."

Red shrugged like he did almost every morning. It wasn't his job to plan out his entire life in an hour - he pretty much already did that when he became Champion. Whether or not it actually went according to plan was another story in itself. For example: he's living with Green now. Definitely not on the agenda.

He stretched out his pale fingers to scratch behind Pikachu's ears and smiled when he saw the yellow mouse's cheeks give off a pleased spark. The silence was comfortable between them...that is, until Green's hideous ringtone began to blare from the living room.

_ Baby, you light up my world like nobody else,_The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed...Green ran into the other room, grabbing his phone and jumping in with the chorus without missing a beat.

"BUT WHEN YOU SMILE AT THE GROUND IT AIN'T HARD TO TELL, YOU DON'T KNOW, OH OH, YOU DON'T KNOW YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!" For a moment Red thought about throwing his breakfast at the shrieking Gym Leader just to shut him up but realized Green would probably make him clean up the mess. Green had set the awful boy band song as his ringtone simply to piss Red off. At first, he only chuckled at the other's antics, then it was boring. The end result being, Green annoyed his partner beyond comprehension and got exactly what he wanted. As usual.

_ You don't know you're beautiful, Oh oh,That's what makes you-_ "Hello?... Seriously?...Well, they're showing up way too early and it-...Yeah, yeah, I know it's-...Alright, I'll be there in a sec! Fuck, calm your tits." Green hung up and rolled his eyes. He grabbed his jacket off the end of the couch and went back to the kitchen. "Early birds again. I'll see you later," he said as he kissed the side Red's head, picking up Eevee by her midsection, and left.

Only after Green left did the raven touch the spot Green kissed. He let a small smile slip and finished off his breakfast.

0o0o0

Living atop a frigid mountain with absolutely nothing to do for six years would usually take a tole on a normal person's lifestyle. For Red, however, it taught him it's impossible to be truly bored. As soon as he had the apartment to himself, he began contemplating on what he should do. He could take Lapras out to train in the Viridian Forest, or Blastoise, or Charizard, or... well, he mostly just trained nonstop up there. Maybe when Green got back they could battle and Red could kick his ass like the good ol' days...

Wait, no. Not like that, not like that ever again. It's true that Green was the only person that Red would ever consider to be challenging (besides that young boy from Johto that did, in fact, beat him), and he enjoyed brawling with him on a regular basis. But he _never_ wanted it to revert back to their rival days.

Back when the aspiring children took their first steps in the outside world. Back when a childhood friendship broke apart to be repaired years later. Back when Red decided to submerge himself in total silence.

He shook his head quickly. No, he wasn't going to think like that again.

Pikachu looked up at his master and tilted his head in confusion. The raven gave the mouse a look that said _it's fine, I'm all right._ Regardless, Pikachu hopped up into Red's lap and pushed on his chest with tiny hand-like paws. Being such a small creature, it did nothing to move Red but he played along with the mouse's jests and laid back against the couch. He held Pikachu at his sides and pulled him up so they could look each other in the face, human to Pokemon. Pikachu's nose twitched as he blinked his beady, brown eyes before snuggling against the raven's belly, ready for a nap.

Red thought he would get some sleep, too, but the relentless thoughts of his childhood continued to haunt him, uninterrupted as Pikachu slept soundly on his stomach.

It was Green who made Red stop talking. He hadn't done it intentionally, but he made it exceedingly clear that he didn't want to hear his rival talk to him like they were friends. So, the raven didn't make any sounds at all. He had no idea why Green had started to hate him, he only wanted them to be friends again. He couldn't take it.

Once he defeated Green and took his rightful place as champion, Red left. He knew there was nothing left between him and the brunet and he couldn't just stay to have his once close friend treat him like dirt anymore. Red would miss his mother, Oak, even Green at some point, but he couldn't stay. He fled all the way to the tallest point in both the Kanto and Johto regions just to get away from the world.

He never once thought of how it would make the people he left behind feel, he simply acted on impulse. And when he finally returned home to his worrisome mother, he felt a deep remorse for leaving her alone like that for so many years without any warning of his departure.

After six long years, however, he was finally taken down and decided to return to Pallet.

Quickly enough, everything began to fall into place. Professor Oak welcomed him back with open arms and compliments on how amazing a trainer he was, as expected. When he met with Green for the first time in years, he immediately swept Red into his arms after the initial shock of having him back in civilization. Their friendship was patched up and somehow along the way they became something more. He was surprisingly happy - much happier than when he lived alone on Mt. Silver. Something was beginning to feel off about the whole thing, though.

The more he delved into his past, the more he began to realize what exactly that was.

Green would never tell Red that he loved him. It was stupid for that to bother him, but for some reason it did. The brunet would constantly shower him with kisses and hugs and gave him as much attention as either of them could put up with. Green often held him close to his chest at night, nose buried in his dark hair, to 'make sure he wouldn't leave him again'. It was continuously made definite that Green loved him dearly so why in the world would it bother Red that he never said anything about it?

That question doesn't even deserve to be asked.

All the shit that Red went through as kid on Green's behalf still troubled him. Why do the immature actions of his childhood friend that happened so many years ago still infuriate him?

That's a much better question.

Is it because he never tried to stop it? That he let it get to him? Is it that Green didn't even bother to try and change until after Red left? Why, why, _why_?

All the times Green would tattle-tail on him for things the brunet obviously did. When Green would shove him to the ground, only for him to get up and be pushed back down. When Green would kick dirt in his face and laugh. When Green would dunk his head under the water when they played in the ocean south of Pallet. When Green would scream and tell him they weren't friends anymore by the end of every week.

Even after they grew up and became trainers, Green would taunt, scowl, badmouth, hate Red with every fiber of his being for some unknown reason.

It seemed that whenever something bad happened, Green would dodge the blast and apologize for collateral damage while Red was left to deal with the aftermath. Whether it be Red's father leaving, Team Rocket as a whole, Red leaving, everything they should have experienced together. None of it mattered because it was always about Green.

Red crossed his arms against his chest and clenched his eyes shut, letting out a sigh. There was definitely no way he was going to be able to sleep with those thoughts perturbing his psyche. He attempted to roll over only to notice Pikachu still sleeping on top of him. He sighed again, gentler this time, and carefully picked up the slumbering Pokemon and moved him to the pet bed he shared with Eevee. Just as Red settled back onto the couch, he heard the door swing open and a voice call out.

"Red, I'm back!" Oh, great. Just the person he wanted to see.

Eevee came scurrying across the carpet rapidly to the pet bed, nuzzling Pikachu's face with her paw and efficiently waking him up. She yipped a couple times happily, begging Pikachu to play. Red could sense Green's presence behind the couch as he watched the Pokemon bounce around, communicating in a language neither would ever understand. Once they had calmed down some, the brunet walked around the back of the couch to his boyfriend.

"Hey, sorry for the wait," he apologized, leaning down to kiss the placid teen. He missed, though, as Red swung his head to avoid him. Green pulled back and tried aiming for Red's cheek instead. Again, he failed in his quest to show affection. "What are you doing?" He couldn't help but chuckle at the raven's antics, figuring he was just playing around like usual. But it was then he noticed the slightly angry looking face glaring at him._ The same look from this morning x10..._, he thought.

Red shifted onto his side to block out Green's entire being. Meanwhile, the Gym Leader was quickly becoming anxious as Red turned away from him grumpily. _Is he sick? Is he just not feeling well or is there something else? Is he upset about something? Did _I_ do something? I probably did something, that's usually the case_, Green's mind raced with questions as he gently put a hand on Red's shoulder, only to have it immediately shoved off._ Yep, I apparently did something._

This wasn't the first time Green royally screwed up and pissed Red off to high heaven. It definitely wouldn't be the last time, either. The two trainers were born to conflict with each other, regardless of whether or not it was over any important matter. They were like an old married couple, bickering and arguing as they go along. Though, usually, it wouldn't escalate to the point where Red would outright disregard Green's existence rather than immediately jumping into the fight, throwing around irritated expressions and one-worded insults. But instead, the brunet only received silence.

"Red, I swear to Arceus, I don't want to deal with this shit right now," Green groaned. He pushed lightly on Red's back with the side of hip and sat on the edge of the couch. "I don't really know how to make you feel better if I don't know what it is. I'm your boyfriend, not a goddamn psychic." Sure, probably not the gentlest way of saying 'I care about you', but since when has Green ever been Gentle McCarington? Oh, right. When Red showed up on his doorstep for the first time in who-knows-how-long. Strange, the way love can change a man.

However, now was not the time for Mr. McCarington. No, Green was quickly becoming peeved as the heated silence stretched on and, unlike Red, he couldn't stay reserved. Now was the time for an incredibly irritated Green to scream at an incredibly irritated Red and make everything a thousand times worse. This was going to be a sight to see.

"Red, shit, what the hell is wrong with you?! Just say- I don't know- something!" As he shouted this, he pushed roughly on the raven's shoulders, trying to get a response. But he soon became tired of this, as well. "If you're not going to say anything then at least look at me!" Green grabbed onto the bony shoulder beneath him once more and, with little struggle, managed to force Red square onto his back. He then trapped Red's legs under his own, straddling him on the furniture in an attempt to keep him both cornered and from kicking the Gym Leader in the crotch. Green could say from experience that Red was an excellent kicker.

With one hand still positioned on a scrawny shoulder beneath him, Green moved his other hand up to Red's cheek. It may have been a little late for gestures of sentimentality or tenderness in this bizarre whirlwind of hardly suppressed rage but one look at either of their faces was enough to say this battle wouldn't end with a happy, pleasant theme song and dance routine. They were presently having a glaring contest, daring the other to break first. One word was softly demanded from the being on top with a narrowing of his emerald eyes. "Please."

The noiret realized how quickly he was getting sick of his boyfriends incessant badgering.

Sliding carmine eyes closed in exasperation, Red made an attempt to free himself by enclosing his slender fingers around Green's wrist. He began to lightly push against the man above him, just wanting to end this without too much conflict; wanting to end this in a way that was different than all their other fights.

But just as pale skin touched sun-kissed, Green's hands came up to seize Red's wrists instead, forcing them against the couch with the rest of the former Champion's body. Their eyes fell to each other's as the brunet brought his torso closer, essentially laying atop his pissed lover. They could now feel each other's warm breath dusting over their faces and for a moment everything seemed far more intimate than it should have. "This will go a lot faster if you go ahead and te-"

"You're a dick," Red breathed as he re-opened his eyes. Green was taken aback for a moment, just staring at Red in astonishment.

"That's it?"

Red didn't answer, just gazed down and away from the cadmium orbs staring intently at him. Still a bit incredulous, the brunet continued, "Honestly, I'm already pretty aware of that. But, uh, you had me worried I did something awful or-"

"You're awful. You're awful and disgusting and a dick and sometimes I really hate you. Sometimes, I just want to randomly push you off a high cliff into some place sharp even if you didn't do anything wrong at the time. I hate you. I hate you _so much_. "

Green slowly began to sit up now; he suddenly felt the need to distance himself from the man under him. The Gym Leader unconsciously shook his head slightly, frightened by this new information. _This can't be true, he's just mad, this isn't right, **this isn't right! **_Despite the flurry of anxieties rushing through his head, all he could do was a mutter a dull "What?"

"I hate you."

"R-Red, c'mon, you don't mean that."

"I hate you." His eyes clenched shut.

"No you don't..."

A silent shake of the head.

"No you don't!" And suddenly Green was shouting again. "Every night we hold and kiss and _love_ each other, every fucking night! I know you, Red, you're not a liar." He's right about how the raven wouldn't lie to Green. That just makes his hatred all the more painful. "You're trying to convince yourself you hate me right now, aren't you?" Green brought his face closer again, growling darkly and squeezing harder on Red's sore wrists. Red winced slightly as the brunet continued. "I'm trying not to hurt you- believe me, I am- but when you act like this it makes everything so much harder than it has to be! And if this is about when we were kids or whatever, then I'm sorry but I'm not who I used to be and you know it!"

"You're not much better."

"What the hell did you jus-" Green's eyes widened considerably, his eyebrows knit tightly together. How the fuck did had not noticed what he was doing? It was an obvious fact that he was a complete asshole, especially when enraged, but he didn't even realize that he was reverting back to his old self. The self that resented Red out of envy, the self that tried to tell itself it wasn't frightened when Red didn't come back after the first few weeks, the self before Red finally did come back to Green.

He looked down at Red - actually looked at him- and yanked his hands away from the teen's wrists as if he had been burned by the icy, white skin. Instead, he hesitantly wraps his arms underneath Red's torso, holding him close as he pressed his face into the crook of his shoulder. He had to be gentle now, he had to convince Red not leave his ass behind. He would probably die if that happened again. _Oh god, what have I done..._

For a moment the former Champion was stunned by Green's sudden mildness; how sweetly he held the teen to his chest. And then it dawned on him- this whole match of top-gun was completely and utterly senseless. Stupid. Foolish. Both of them were idiots.

0o0o0

___Red is 3 years old and he just fell in the river a little ways outside of Pallet. He's drenched to the bone, the water chilling him and making his small body shiver violently. He can't think of what to do so he just sits there in the churning body of water as his friend on shore cackles loudly. Green stands feet away, comfortably dry and watching Red sitting in the river. And quite suddenly, Red's eyes begin to well up with a different kind of liquid and his freezing lips begin to quiver. He hiccups, bringing Green to attention as the sobs quickly begin to rack his tiny lungs. There's a splash as the brunet goes to join his friend in being drenched and cold and sitting stupidly in the middle of the river. He grabs a pale hand in his own, tanned, shaky one as he smiles with trembling lips._

0o0o0

___ Red is 4 years old and his best friend was just bitten by a wild Pokemon. A ratatata, to be exact. Green was honestly lucky it was young and didn't have the biting power to chomp his whole finger off. Still, he's bleeding like nobody's business, weeping like a newborn baby, and staring at his bloody finger like he had just witnessed a murder. And in some way, he did. His poor, little ring finger. It may never be the same. And now they were rushing off to Professor Oak's lab, desperate that Green's grandfather knew what to do about this while Red shushed his friend's constant blubbering with little kisses to his cheeks to try and calm him down because that's what Red's mother always does for him and it always works. Thankfully, Oak knew just what to do and in a few weeks, Green's finger only had a ring-shaped scar left. He constantly shows it off like some kind of battle wound he survived._

0o0o0

___ Red is 5 years old and these older kids just won't leave him alone. They came from Viridian, probably only two years older than Red and Green but apparently that gives them the right to bully the child. They haggled him over his strangely colored eyes, over how tiny and weak he was, over how close he was to Green. They called him a faggot. What does that mean? Do they even know? For at least the seventh time since they had showed up, he was pushed from boy to boy, a game of catch or the like, before finally letting him fall to the ground and pressing on his back with mud-caked shoes. And then there was a familiar voice calling to the bullies, successfully pulling their attention from Red to Green, who had just shown up looking like he ran a marathon. They move on to him, shoving him to the ground and rubbing his face into the dirt before kicking him over to where Red still lay and eventually leaving with mirth still in their cruel and crooked smiles. Green gives a toothy grin, gums bloody and face coated in earth, while he laughs and cries from the pain they both feel at that moment. _

0o0o0

___Red is 6 years old and he's getting married. Under the large oak tree near the exit of Pallet town, Red and Green stand facing each other, a hitmonchan doll being the only thing between them as they grip each other's hands. They smile as they pretend the hitmonchan was a pastor, blessing this wedding and the two grooms. The adults had said only men and women can marry but the boys didn't listen. They slip on rings they found around their separate houses and laugh at how they're too big for their little fingers. Emerald eyes look into crimson before sliding closed as they lean forward to give a peck to each other's lips._

0o0o0

___ Red is 7 years old and Green just got the catch of the lifetime. Sort of. A golden magikarp is on the brunet's fishing line, writhing about as it struggles to get back to the sea. Red grabs the bucket of water for an occasion such as this and lets Green drop the fish Pokemon into the bucket. It swims around, hardly having enough room to move. That night and every night afterwords, Green shares his startling catch with Red until the magikarp finally stops swimming and it's shining scales dim. _

0o0o0

___ Red is 8 years old and his friend has discovered the opposite gender. Girls, girls, girls- Green won't shut up about them. How come they get to grab all of ____**his best friend's**____ attention. It never dawns on him that while Green is learning how much he likes girls, Red is learning just how jealous he can be when the other's attention is on anyone besides him._

0o0o0

___ Red is 9 years old and he's suddenly getting a lot of attention. Green keeps kissing his cheeks, his hands, his head, whatever the other boy can seize with his lips. But he refuses to kiss Red's mouth. That would mean they're a couple, whatever that means. The noiret knows it's only an attempt to embarrass him but he's secretly enjoying every little brush Green's lips lay on his skin. He's not entirely sure why, but he knows it feels right. _

0o0o0

"Please don't leave..." It was then that Red felt how wet his shoulder was, how the body holding his was trembling. His consciousness was brought back to the moment. "Please... please don't leave me again... I'm so sorry..." Green's whispers were raspy with still falling tears as he attempted to hold Red tighter, sobbing and begging desperately to not be abandoned. "I-I love you..." Those were the words he wanted to hear for so long, yet it hurt to hear them now in such a pained voice "I love you so, so much... just - please don't leave me..."

Red's arms rose slowly, hesitatingly cloaking across Green's back in a hug he could only wish was the slightest bit comforting. "Okay."


End file.
